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Submitted on
February 3, 2013
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it's on those cold mornings
when you are nothing but indrawn breath
swirling and knitted up inside too-big
skin and weightless bones--
when the horizon arches up against
the half-thawed tendrils of sunrise
and smiles
with golden teeth,
and smiling, begs--
it's on those cold mornings
when leaving is easiest.

the car will be cold, and you will
shiver, and the engine,
much too loud,
will smack of blasphemy
but you will find peace in the steady roll
of tarmac and the yellowing light
spilling across it,
with dust motes kicked up and carried
like fish in the undertow.

when you come to that first
crossroads, it will shock you:
the way the decision hangs there
trembling and desperate--
but there are no right answers and you will not
hesitate. and each successive choice
will be made of its own accord,
and you will roll the windows down,
and draw down the scent of earth and
photosynthesis.

the trees will hush and
hush in your wake and forget you
instantly,
returning to their own silence
and whispered secrets.

and you will drive until you find an ocean
because your heart will always
sing
for saltwater, and pull you to the great expanse of
your own personal magnetic north--
the ley lines that ache in your ribs.
you will open the car door, and maybe
you will need to take a moment
to stand and inhale and
be.
and you will have left so much of yourself
behind
that you will feel like you have nothing to your name but
a pair of lungs
a beating heart
and blood thudding hard through your veins
and that's okay.

because the sea will always
slink up to you along the shoreline--
as if it knows how infinitesimal you are
and is trying to be gentle.
it will reach out to you and hush
and retreat,
and entice--
and it will hush and draw you in
and hush and purify,
and you will realize what a
thrumming, boundless
beast you've
hush
surrendered to.

and maybe for while, you
hush
won't remember
where you came from. and maybe
hush
that's okay.
I found a quote today--one single line from Catcher in the Rye. Yanked all this out of me. I don't know. I like it.
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:iconbluediamondsnow:
BlueDiamondSnow Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is profound and beautiful and a major privilege to hear you read aloud.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013
:blush: Thanks so much. :heart:
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:iconbluediamondsnow:
BlueDiamondSnow Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
These are my favorite lines:
and you will roll the windows down,
and draw down the scent of earth

and you will realize what a
thrumming, boundless
beast you've
hush
surrendered to.

The whole stanza with the "hush" of the waves swooshing it so perfect.
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
Hypnotizing and beautiful. I savored every word. :coffeecup: :heart:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
Thank you so much. :heart:
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:iconmrskyoya:
MrsKyoya Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I read this one out loud (I read all your poems out loud now) and I just finished it and i can feel the tears in the corners of my eyes. I love your stuff so much, it is always so amazing~ I dont know if this was supposed to make people cry but it touched my heart anyway.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
Oh my gosh. :blush:

That is such a huge compliment--thank you! :heart:
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:iconmrskyoya:
MrsKyoya Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
>3< Your welcome~
Reply
:iconjuniorel:
juniorel Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013   Writer
Hearing/reading this felt almost like the time I accidentally discovered "Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking." Just certain stanzas… I can't explain it well. They aren't the same, but they put me in a similar place.

I feel weird about adding so many of your pieces to my favorites, but you keep writing these pieces I want to go back to and read again. I can't help it. :)
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
:blush: Thank you so much! :heart:
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