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:new: Now with a reading.

two roads diverged in a soulless dawn
and you pull over,
idling on the shoulder of route 50.
it's a polaroid morning and
the world is as grainy
and sleep-heavy
as your eyes,
and one million miles
is not far enough.
it plays back, filmstrip,
blurred along the length of
optic nerves,
and here you are:
facing a choice between
on
and
out.
and this?
this loosejointed, hollowbodied
weightless ache--
this is what
gone
feels like.
Felt good, this.

Inspired by this: [link]

Source: [link]
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:iconbluesoulgreenmind:
BlueSoulGreenMind Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
This was breathtaking. I listened to it without ever looking back on the page. The abrupt end hit me harder.
I thought (while listening) it would be longer but that's okay,
I liked that I was left thinking that because it made the word gone sound so much heavier.
You said all you needed to say.
The imagery was lovely it encompassed your inspiration.
Your inspiration infused image encompassed your feeling.
Everything echo'd back and forth.
My favorite part was the description of what gone feels like.
I love this.
When you wrote with thanks to frost I first thought of Robert Frost but now I'm thinking of frost on a window, I'm thinking of frost itself and it does give that same feeling of suspended animation, of purgatory, of limbo that "gone" feels like.
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love your voice.
I've already faved this.
I'm sad 'cause I can't do it again.
Reply
:iconlaitma:
Laitma Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Student General Artist
Uoooohhhhhhhhh, love the ending phrase, so beautiful.  <3
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013   Writer
Top-notch work, this one. I thought about Frost (used to read his work a lot) and how he may react. If only he wasn't "gone." :+fav:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
Thanks so much. :heart:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013   Writer
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
Reply
:iconhiland-rose:
Hiland-Rose Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter

All at once familiar but edgy....nicely done, I love it when a writer plays with an idea!  This is good.

 

Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is fabulous. :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've missed your readings.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
:love:
Reply
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aaaah, perfect atmosphere here. Perfect.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:icontoxic-nebulae:
toxic-nebulae Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Student Writer
"it's a polaroid morning and
the world is as grainy
and sleep-heavy
as your eyes,"

:heart: gorgeous.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know that I've featured this piece in my journal :)
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautifully written. Your descriptions and word choices are lovely. :aww:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! <3
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
now this is a great piece. it read like it felt good.

though the title doesn't have quite the same ring as 'with thanks to salinger'. your inspiration needs more syllables in his name.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Thank you so much. :heart:

I know, right? -sigh- The heart wants what the heart wants, I s'pose. :meow:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
^^

guess so.

with thanks to frost...ing
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Frosting. :love:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:icondroolplz:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
:D
Reply
:iconezradeacon:
ezradeacon Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A great homage to Frost. Well written. Fantastic imagery and atmosphere.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconownedbycow:
OwnedbyCow Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Reminds me of "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam. :(

I can't listen to that song.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Hmm... I must look it up. :)
Reply
:iconownedbycow:
OwnedbyCow Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Did you check it out? Not a happy song. :/
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 21, 2013
Certainly isn't. :/
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:wow: I think I'll have to wait a moment for my words to come back....




not back yet....





Yeah. I have no words.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
:blush:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:pat:
Reply
:iconbrietta-a-m-f:
brietta-a-m-f Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Reading this feels almost like watching an old 8mm film. You create specific imagery and atmosphere that captures the longing and remembrance of watching old home movies. Thoughtful and melancholoy, although never quite straying into the realm of depressed.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconbrietta-a-m-f:
brietta-a-m-f Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for writing it!
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Fine work, love. You have a knack for descriptions; never overdone.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: My pleasure!
Reply
:iconlaitma:
Laitma Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow. Absolutely perfect, every line of this. I just... no words, dear. :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
:blush: Ahhhh, thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner May 16, 2013   Writer
Sooooo much better than frost's poem. Wow.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
:blush: I wouldn't go that far... thank you, though! :heart:
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner May 23, 2013   Writer
Oh, no, I think it really is 1000x better than Frost's. His was good, but this is amazing. :heart:
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Professional Writer
:clap: ('polaroid morning' :thumbsup: )
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
:heart:
Reply
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Submitted on
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