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this city suffocates so we don't
speak.
no, at best
we sing in sign language:
the hushed glances, the solidity
of shoulder blades
and judgments--
the smothered
eyes.

hey.

listener--
let's go.

let's leave the choking crowds
and chase out somewhere
where the wind blows
wide and rich--
where the knotted songs in your
throat
unravel.

somewhere
to take these beartrap ribs
and let us
breathe.
For *0hgravity and written to Suffocation Keep (fabulous song, by the way).
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:iconlaitma:
Laitma Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Mmmmmmmmmm, the pacing of this, the way you let us pause and pick back up, is really gorgeous. :)
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
Thank you so much, love. :heart:
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:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"where the knotted songs in your
throat
unravel.

somewhere
to take these beartrap ribs
and let us
breathe."
:heart: That's it. I'm in love with you.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Oh gosh. :blush: I'm glad you like it!
Reply
:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
=D
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:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
wonderful, as usual.

"let's leave the choking crowds
and chase out somewhere
where the wind blows
wide and rich--
where the knotted songs in your
throat
unravel."

yep. particularly fond of that right there.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Thanks so much! :heart: For the fave, too. :huggle:
Reply
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The second last stanza is lovely.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I simply adore that concept: singing in sign language. Beautifully executed!
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is fantastic. You ought to record it. I bet it would make for a wonderful audio poem.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Thanks! :D I most certainly will, then. ^^
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, ma'am. My pleasure. :)
Reply
:icongoose-fat:
goose-fat Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013   Writer
Nice. But what happens if you do that in the city?
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Who really knows?
Reply
:iconconcora:
Concora Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013   Writer
Oh, this is gorgeous. :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Thank you, love. :heart:
Reply
:iconcoloringtherain:
ColoringTheRain Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I started off reading this outloud then ended in a whisper... sweet.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Hehe, awesome. :D
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah, that's it.

where the wind blows wide and rich--

and that final stanza...beartrap ribs

love it.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Thank you. :heart: And thanks for the inspiration in the first place. :)
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem :) glad you liked it.
Reply
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