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the desertgirls all wear their white dresses,
braids cinched with ribbons wilted
like the crops.
they walk barefoot, and they have learned
how to keep from kicking up
the sand--they have learned
how to be perfectly still.

the scorchwinds start up, and they
stand beneath the rattling ocotillos,
dresses curling and brushing against
calves dark with dust and
sun.

they stare.
my god--
they stare such betrayal, such trust,
as though you are the devil
or salvation--as though
they haven't made up their minds.

say what you like.
they won't smile, only
watch
until long after you are out of sight
and the horizon has
swallowed you
up.
And we're back to deserts.
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:iconvfreie:
VFreie Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
I was almost going to say the final stanza had reeled me in sliiiiiightly less than the others, then I noticed the very last enjambements: I've never been swallowed up by a desert landscape and pray I never will, but this finale gave just a perfect sense of it. :thumbsup:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Thank you so much!

It's a strange feeling, the nothingness. :nod:
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:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love me a good desert poem. :heart:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Me too. :heart:
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:iconlaitma:
Laitma Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student General Artist
Oooooooooh, lovely, and the title, funnily enough, only added to it as I read it again at the bottom. Hm, curious.
I love the conversational tone of this too, the paradoxical way the view of the girls is being described. Lovely. :heart:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Thank you, love! :heart:
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:iconjuniorel:
juniorel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013   Writer
Please do keep on reading your own poetry, too, though. I honestly feel it's the best way to experience it. You know best how to articulate your work with the right meaning, rhythm, and emphasis.

I also want to say this (because all I have to say about this individual piece is just pure, babbling praise): I often have trouble reading very long, poetic prose pieces, which usually seem to happen when a person who is most familiar with poetry crosses over to prose. But I get the feeling your writing would translate so well. I could read an entire novel full of it because of the voice. The way you use language is incredibly intimate, lucid, and full of feeling.

That's all. For now. Love this. :heart:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Oh my goodness, thank you so much. :huggle: That means a whole hell of a lot to me, thank you. :heart:
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:iconnemonus:
Nemonus Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
"hey stare.
my god--
they stare such betrayal, such trust,
as though you are the devil
or salvation--as though
they haven't made up their minds."

Augh. This was a gutpunch. The desert is so perfect for people leaving. I really like "desertgirls" as one word. The first stanza was a bit hazy, perhaps because "white" doesn't have any other color to contrast against and the last four lines say the same thing twice. But it really picks up speed and emotional power from there. Nice work.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart: I'll see if I can't fix up that first stanza and make it more vivid. :)
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:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
love the desert and ghost towns though few are left there now. pretty poem, i liked your audio version of it. you have a nice (kinda mellow low) expressive voice when reading poetry. =)
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart:
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:iconkissthesunrise:
KissTheSunrise Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
It was my pleasure! =)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ghosts are always fantastic subjects to write about...in my own opinion, of course.

it is amazing how you can make the same material fresh and new. I suppose that is the mark of a true artist.

definitely a haunting piece. and beautiful too.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Oh, indeed. :heart:

Thank you so much. :huggle:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :hug:
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:icontisserande-d-encre:
tisserande-d-encre Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
Ahh... so lovely. I can hear the sand whooshing with the wind at the back. You should read this one, your voice will make it more perfect.

they stare such betrayal, such trust,
as though you are the devil
or salvation--as though
they haven't made up their minds.

Love, love, loooove those lines. :D
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Thank you so much! :heart: I did go and read it aloud--link's at the top. <3
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:icontisserande-d-encre:
tisserande-d-encre Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Writer
O.O asdfghjkl... -dies-
-Wakes up. Repeats audio-
Asdfghhjklcmrinre...
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
:blush:
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Just about perfect from start to finish.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Thank you so much. <3
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