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Once upon a time, when you were still sunlighthouses and shimmering existence wherever you were needed most, you found him. He was November, shaky on his first last legs, and you saw through the mind-twistings he feigned to the mind-twistings that were really there, knotted up in his dreams.

You were still birdsong then, and thunderstorms, and your bodyheat melted the frost claws that held him tight. You held onto him as his November deepened. When he howled, you howled with him, and the wind played with your voices and pressed the softness of your lungs against your cageribs—and then against each other's.

November became solstice, and you felt him shiver through that long night and didn't mind the coldbitten nails that grazed your skin. He slept when the moon drowned below the treeline, but the iceflakes began to drift in like small animals seeking the pulsing riverheat of your blood, and chilling you. He lay there, vulnerable as his world turned slowly towards the light, and you knew that when the sun sank its teeth into the horizon he'd finally see it. And then—

You have seen many Novembers. You have melted many glaciers. The winds whispered—or so you thought—that there were more to find. There were, of course, but when you fixed them they were gone, and all it left was earth and icewater grass and chills.

And now you are shaky on your first last legs, and your equinox has passed too quickly, and you want to plunge your hand into him and feel the pulse of the heart you patched back up and sink your nails into the blaze of his soul

—but you don't.

The first searchlight-sunbeam strokes the distant cloudcurves, and you lean down to press your mouth against his and let his fire burn you one last time. And then you sleep.

When you wake, he is gone, and the first tendrils of sharp-edged icewater grass leave bruises on your fragile skin.
Hear the audio version (and some measure of explanation) over thisaway: [link]

Well holy hell, a DD. :faint:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-04
To quote the suggester, like wine, each time I read it, it hits harder than before. Solstice is by *disrhythmic ( Suggested by trembling-knees and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconandrewpbroman:
andrewpbroman Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
this remins me of the song seamstress by dessa. It's a diffrent style but I like it.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
Thank you! I'll have to look up that song. :heart:
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This piece, well deserving of its DD, is full of the wickedly insightful imagery that erases the man-made line between humanity and nature to form a perfection union of time, temperature and emotion.

Very nice....


:)
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Thank you so much, love. :heart:
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:iconmoon-crafter:
Moon-Crafter Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Touching
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Thank you. <3
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i'm not going to bandy about platitudes and over-used superlatives like most around here do, but i will say that i like this, it's not the same regurgitated verse that seems to dominate the daily features and popularity poles; it's original. and that in and of itself is probably the best compliment i can give

(though it reads much more like a blank verse poem than a vignette/flash fiction to me, but that's me being hyper-critical)
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Thank you so much, love. :heart:

(I agree, actually. I just wrote this at a time when I was adamant that I did -not- write poetry. ^^;)
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:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
quite welcome :XD:
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:iconpennyleigh:
PennyLeigh Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
<3
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
:heart:
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:iconghostlobo:
Ghostlobo Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Professional Writer
Fantastic :).
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Thanks so much. <3
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:iconbrokengrin:
bRoKeNgRiN Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Very well done. It was certainly refreshing to read something like this. Vivid, quick and to the point, and, while I desired more, left me satisfied all the same. Congrats on the daily deviation.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Thanks so much! :heart:
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:iconlordrook:
lordrook Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Beautiful...
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you so much. :heart:
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:iconlordrook:
lordrook Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
You are very welcome!
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like how fast this goes. The imagery carries you along, even though a descriptive piece like this is usually slow.

The opening seemed to have rhythm to me, but that went away with "you saw through the mind-twistings he feigned to the mind-twistings that were really there"—I'd consider smoothing out this aspect of flow more; for a prose piece, it is quite poetic already.

Not all of the neologisms did it for me because some of them felt redundant, like 'searchlight-sunbeam' which then made me question the otherwise fantastic 'cloudcurves.' But it does keep the piece moving quickly, so this may be more personal preference than something you need to change.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thanks so much!

I completely agree with you--I'll go in and see if I can't tighten up the beginning and tone down the more... over-the-top word choice. ^^;

Thanks for the critique. :heart:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012   Writer
Holy shit.

I'm having trouble even commenting beyond that, because this hit me so hard.

I love this. The imagery is amazing, and I love the way you play with it - and maybe this hits me harder because the imagery strongly reminds me of someone I know, though as far as I know the dynamics of his relationship weren't like this at all. Aside from that, it works. I love the poetry of this, the way the imagery doesn't just enhance, but carries the narrative. I love the rhythms of the sounds. I'm trying to pick out specific things within the imagery that I like especially much, and I can't - partly because I honestly do think this entire piece is amazing, and it swept me away so much that it's extremely difficult to single anything out, but also because what makes this so special isn't any particular image but the way they interact. Every bit is a moving part of a dynamic whole, and I love that.

Obligatory criticism: the wind played with your voices and pressed the softness of your lungs against your cageribs—and then against each other's - The English language is working against you here, because 'your' is the same whether it's singular or plural. The first is obviously plural - voices - and at lungs and cageribs it's unclear: it's impossible to tell by syntax whether it's plural, so I initially assumed that it was because the last one had been. and then against each other's proved me wrong. - No, wait; thinking about this, I realize they might actually be plural, in which case I find your / each other's a bit awkward, for reasons I'm not entirely sure of myself.

Just a reaction; hope it's helpful to you.

I'm out of time to do so now, but I will definitely take a look at the rest of your gallery in the morning.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Oh my goodness, thank you -so- much for the lovely comment. :heart: I'm so glad you liked it. :huggle:

No, no, you're completely right. I don't remember what exactly I intended when I wrote it, but either way it is confusing. I'll see if I can't go in and fix it up a little. ^^ Thanks for pointing it out. :heart:

:blush: I hope you like what you find! ^^;
Reply
:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012   Writer
You're very welcome! :)
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:icontisserande-d-encre:
tisserande-d-encre Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
This is beautiful, Dizzy, congratulations on another well deserved Daily Deviation :)
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Oh gosh, Romy, thank you! <3
Reply
:icontisserande-d-encre:
tisserande-d-encre Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
Sigue inspirando al mundo con tu luz en las letras, corazón, iluminas a muchas personas, incluyéndome. :heart:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
:heart: :heart: :heart:
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:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Well this is just freaking wonderful.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
:blush:

Thank you so much! :heart:
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:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
<3 Welcome
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:icondaghrgenzeen:
Daghrgenzeen Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD. :wow:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :heart:
Have a nice day! : )
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you! <3
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
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:iconcomidion:
Comidion Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
Is this written as a message to yourself? To remind you of a past romance?

I interpret this story as if it is about a girl finding a man, either physically or mentally broken. As time progresses the girl heals the lost-cause-guy; Becoming closer and closer, breaking down any barriers that are in the way. Finally the guy is whole again, and no longer believes he needs the girl, leaving her behind. Now the girl is broken.

I'm probably reading into it too much though. In any case, thanks for this; Especially the way you read it really brightened my otherwise grey and dull day.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Yup, that's pretty much it. ^^; I blame youth and naivete, hehe. :)

Thanks for the comment, love. :heart:
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:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Holy shit is this gorgeous.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
:blush: Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconkristen-bates-art:
kristen-bates-art Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've never loved a few paragraphs of text as much as this. They way you write is so beautiful; I hope that you continue in prose and poetry or prosetry if you wish! :D Honestly though, you amaze me! I love it so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sending chills down my spine!
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. :heart: I'm really glad you liked it. ^^
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
Lovely. Almost a tone poem.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you so much. :heart:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
The flow is nearly perfect. There seem to me to me no flaws whatsoever.
Reply
:iconteano:
TEANO Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
I don't have a clue how to interpret it, but it's very well written nevertheless. Does that make sense? I suppose it does!
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Makes perfect sense. ;)

Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconalloendreams:
AlloenDreams Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
this has an incredible impact -it's the kind of work that leaves you breathless until the final line is finished.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
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December 5, 2011
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